I was born in a stable under a wandering star. My real name being Lee Marvin - which I later changed to Santel - which means Star Trapper in Swhigitdoon. (Oh, alright then, my real name is Terry and I am a male, the wrong side of 35 (up a touch) but I like my friends, women and animals to have a sense of humour - hyenas laugh, don't they?).
My hobbies include fly fishing with my mate J R Hartley - you may have heard of him, he's an old geezer you will have seen on the telly program "Salmon Paste Sandwich Fishing", its on BBC Choice.
I may have been born on the 29th February 1956 - which makes me 10 years old - then again I'm probably lying through my teeth again.
While abusing my computer, I like doing DTP, which as all you computer geeks know, it stands for Downing Ten Pints.
Treats I like include: eating jelly babies - head first (its always best to have head first). I have a peculiar fetish, for collecting used fairy liquid bottles - preferably with the fairies (ooohh Doris - sic. affected voice) still in them. (Kinky fellow this one - Ed)
I also like laughing out loud on the bus - don't tell me YOU'VE never done that! - at a joke someone told me three months ago.
I also found out the other day whilst talking to my psychiat....er, doctor, that if you have a constant running nose, you should snort some ground up Viagra. It won't actually stop your nose running - but it will make sure you are keeping up with the Jones - by always have your nose stuck up in the air. (Strange man - Ed)
This is supposed to be a biography - but I've just noticed its turned into a series of ramblings. Well, you were warned that I'm not exactly compost menthist. (Actually, you weren't warned, but thats this bloke for you - Ed).
Oh, I nearly forgot, in the daytime I am single and available for blondes, brunettes and dark haired beauties, as well as barmitzvahs, weddings and karaoke sampling sessions. In the evenings, I am either down the local pub, club or fixing friends Bill Gates computer delights - known as Windows 95 - or if I am at home and not playing around with my computator - I find that I have acquired a wife for the evening. She's not a bad old stick - even if she is 62 years older than me - (which is why I like to be available in the daytime) but doesn't look it. (OOooh, Sissy, if she ever actually gets to understand the Internet, and she reads that last bit, you are mincemeat pal - Ed).
I compile a pub quiz, and when I get these pages up and running properly, I will probably put the quiz questions that I use each week, somewhere roundabout these haphazard pages, every once a week or three. They are all recentish.
If the fancy takes me, I'll also have a page of musings and jokes - as and when I have the time, inclination or mood swing to do proper updates, like.
I'll probably have a page to links I find amusing, quirky, useful etc.
If you find anything mildly interesting on these pages - good. Otherwise - what the hell - I'm only doing this for my own amusement. It beats staring wide eyed out of the window, and scaring the neighbours with my practised gurning techniques.